That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
