so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
