pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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