Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
