I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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