I CAN MOONWALK!
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Randomize
