I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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