Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm at about main and main street
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
