the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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