guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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