ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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