Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
