ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i came on her dog
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
