I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
