He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
