Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
