Pants 0. Shit 1.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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