My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
