how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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