I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
3 2 1 whiskey
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
