I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
