don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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