it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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