Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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