he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i think i have herpe
just one?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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