If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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