She's JV to your varsity
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
