Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
