My friends, they love my intelligence
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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