hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
