so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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