my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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