I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
