well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
There r osticjed everywhere
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize