Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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