R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
