We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
