I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It's just like the Real World with babies
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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