If that was your dad, he is hot
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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