You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
There are leaves in my underwear?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
