Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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