she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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