ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
