We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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