would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
