Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So vagazzling was a success
I touched a dick in church today
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
