hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize