Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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