I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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