He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
