You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize