I want to stick my p in your. b.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
