Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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