It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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