I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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