Are we in a gay sports bar?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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