ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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