I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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