Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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