so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
