how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
