I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
