after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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