toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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