I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
that may or may not have been my penis.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
